Brainless: The Insanity of Conservatism, part deux

Part 1 available here.

ANN COULTER	FALSE PROPHET
If a Martian landed in America and set out to determine the nation's official state religion, he would have to conclude it is liberalism, while Christianity and Judaism are prohibited by law. And not just in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where it's actually on the books, but throughout the land. This is a country in which taxpayers are forced to subsidize "artistic" exhibits of aborted fetuses, crucifixes in urine, and gay pornography. Meanwhile, it's unconstitutional to display a Nativity scene at Christmas or the Ten Commandments on government property if the purpose is to promote monotheistic religion. Nearly half the members of the Supreme Court—the ones generally known as "liberals"—are itching to ban the references to God on our coins and in the Pledge of Allegiance. They resisted in 2004 on procedural grounds only because it was an election year.	If a space alien landed in America and set out to determine the nation's mental health, he would have to conclude the country suffers from a psychopathologic affliction called conservatism, while rationality and intelligence are aggressively intimidated. And not just in Alabama and Kansas, where it's actually on the books, but throughout the land. This is a country where candidates for high political office must proclaim their unsubstantiated belief in a magic sky-fairy who died on two sticks, their hostility towards all brown people, and their intention to dictate permitted activities in every bedroom in the nation. Meanwhile, decorated military officers, experienced diplomats and respected scientists and scholars are attacked or belittled for offering their rational arguments and expertise. Nearly half the members of the Supreme Court--the ones generally known as "conservatives"--are itching to replace the Constitution with inaccurate interpretations of the chicken scratches of 2000-year-old Near Eastern shepherds. They resisted because the whole nation hasn't been infected with their insanity--yet.
The absence of a divinity makes liberals' belief system no less religious. Liberals define religion as only those belief systems that sub-scribe to the notion of a divine being in order to dismiss other religions as mere religion and theirs as something greater. Shintoism and Buddhism have no Creator God either, and they are considered religions. Curiously, those are two of the most popular religions among leftists—at least until 9/11, when Islam became all the rage.	The inability to acknowledge their own hypocrasy and insanity makes conservatives' mental illness no less hypocritical and insane. Conservatives define conservatism as whatever Rush Limbaugh, the National Review, Ann Coulter and the Bush administration say it is right this moment, regardless of whether it meant the opposite two weeks ago. This is done in order dismiss rational people who consider themselves conservative but disagree with the insane variety as "evil liberals". Creationism and the Rapture are insane, hypocritical perspectives, and conservatives consider them to be rational points of view. Curiously, those are two of the most popular beliefs among conservatives--at least until 9/11, when belligerent imperialism became all the rage.
Liberalism is a comprehensive belief system denying the Christian* belief in man's immortal soul. Their religion holds that there is nothing sacred about human consciousness. It's just an accident no more significant than our possession of opposable thumbs. They deny what we know about ourselves: that we are moral beings in God's image. Without this fundamental understanding of man's place in the world, we risk being lured into misguided pursuits, including bestiality, slavery, and PETA membership. Liberals swoon in pagan admiration of Mother Earth, mystified and overawed by her power. They deny the Biblical idea of dominion and progress, the most ringing affirmation of which is the United States of America.	Conservatism is a complex and serious mental illness denying the Enlightenment-era ideals of the Founding Fathers in humanity's innate capacity for reason and the separation of church and state. Their insanity holds that intelligence and facts are to be ignored, even loathed. All that is important is irrational and unquantifiable faith and "gut instinct". They deny what has made Western civilization prosperous and free: the expulsion of religion and other irrational ideologies from the state apparatus and the acceptance of reason and the scientific method as the preferred manner of understanding the world. Without acknowledging this as the foundation of our society, we risk being lured into irrational, distracting, and dangerous pursuits, including slavery (of non-whites and women), genocide, and baptism. Conservatives swoon in ecclesiastical devotion to fundamentalist Christianity, taken in by her simplistic (conservatives hate "thinking"--it smacks of liberal weakness) but dangerous psalms and odes. They deny the Enlightenment ideals of reason, secularism and the advancement of knowledge, the most ringing affirmation of which used to be the United States of America.
Although they are Druids, liberals masquerade as rationalists, adopting a sneering tone of scientific sophistication, which is a little like being condescended to by a tarot card reader. Liberals hate science and react badly to it. They will literally run from the room, light-headed and nauseated, when told of data that might suggest that the sexes have different abilities in math and science.	Although they are mentally ill, conservatives (through their control of the mass media) convince society that they hold rational, common-sense views, adopting a sneering tone of moral superiority, which is a little like getting a sermon in ethics from a Big Oil executive. Conservatives hate democracy, freedom and entrepreneurship, though they claim otherwise. They will literally throw a temper tantrum when confronted with evidence that their actions contradict their stated principles.
They repudiate science when it contradicts their pagan beliefs—that the AIDS virus doesn't discriminate, that there is no such thing as IQ, that nuclear power is dangerous and scary, or that breast implants cause disease. Liberals use the word science exactly as they use the word constitutional. Both words are nothing more or less than a general statement of liberal approval, having nothing to do with either science or the Constitution. (Thus, for example, the following sentence makes sense to liberals: President Clinton saved the Constitution by repeatedly ejaculating on a fat Jewish girl in the Oval Office.)	If they don't like the facts science arrives at, they circumvent the accepted and effective peer-review process and fabricate data conducive to their agenda in sanitoriums called "think tanks", false data like--the earth is 6000 years old, global warming is a natural phenomenon, blacks are less intelligent than whites, and government-subsidized health care will bankrupt the nation. Conservatives use the phrase "personal responsibility" exactly as they use the phrases "small government" and "fiscal responsibility". All these phrases are nothing more or less than a general statement of conservative approval, but meaning the opposite of what they say. (Thus, for example, the following sentences makes sense to conservatives: George Bush showed personal responsibility by blaming the Democrats for failures in Iraq. George Bush favours small government by listening in to your phone calls and looking at what books you checked out of the library. Republicans are in favour of fiscal accountability by voting for the president's record spending deficits and slashing taxes on the rich.)